Slowly, but a Little Suddenly (6)
“Your Highness.”
Benelia turned at Roylen's voice, wiping sweat from her brow with a towel.
She had tied back her hair and changed into training clothes, now drenched with sweat. She'd been running lap after lap around the training grounds without a moment's rest. Her breathing was harsh and her fingertips trembled, but the brightness in her golden eyes hadn't dimmed.
She stared at the middle-aged professor before her.
Roylen? Why here…?
Since returning from Pelgaroin County, Benelia had resumed her carefully maintained appearance before the imperial family. She was pleased to see the professor visiting her, but couldn't allow that pleasure to show.
To survive, she needed to become a hero, a leader, and the spark of a revolution. Favoring one person openly would undermine the role she had to play.
The imperial court was a jungle ruled by the strongest. It was a hell in which one survived by hiding one's real feelings, distrusting others and constantly testing them.
Roylen could be no exception. Benelia suppressed her welcome and narrowed her eyes into her usual imperious expression.
“What are you doing here?”
“Ha. I've come to report as usual, Your Highness. That's a rather cold reception.”
“I don't remember asking for a report.”
Roylen understood the reply.
After returning to the imperial palace, Benelia hadn't asked the professor to continue serving her. In fact, she'd told Roylen to concentrate on teaching at the Imperial University Mage Tower.
It was an act of consideration. If Benelia's revolution failed, her closest aide might lose his head along with her. By sending Roylen away first, Benelia had tried to give him a way out.
But Roylen had come back in less than a day.
“Your Highness, I've boarded the same ship as you.”
He bowed deeply.
“I don't know whether it will sail into paradise or the fires of hell. But even if hell is our destination, I won't jump overboard.”
“As well as stupid, you're a fool.”
“History usually calls people like me loyal retainers.”
Benelia couldn't quite suppress a smile at the professor's serene reply.
“You certainly know how to speak boldly. Very well. Raise your head.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
Roylen straightened. His gaze was steady, with no sign that he regretted his choice.
“…Then allow me to report.”
“Go on.”
“It's about Viscount Theorad.”
At his name, Benelia touched her chin with interest, silently urging Roylen to continue.
“The president of the Imperial University Mage Tower has recently taken an interest in him. He must have heard that Viscount Theorad perfected artificial-rain magic.”
“And?”
“The Tower is considering inviting him to lecture as an outsider. The full professors, myself included, are still arguing the matter. But the president has considerable influence, so the decision will probably favor inviting him.”
“Hmm…”
The president of the University Mage Tower was one of only two great wizards in the entire Empire. Known as a mage of destruction, he was rumored to be able to cause earthquakes and summon thunderbolts powerful enough to set a mountain ablaze with a single spell.
And now someone like that had taken an interest in Theorad.
Benelia couldn't guess the president's motives. She doubted the attention was entirely benevolent, and found herself worrying about the viscount.
She tapped her chin with one finger.
“I can't overrule the president's wishes. Tell me, is the invitation likely to arrive soon?”
“Not especially. Even if the faculty reaches a decision, the Imperial Household Department must approve it, and then His Majesty himself must give permission.”
“That's elaborate. I didn't think a guest lecturer usually required the imperial family's approval.”
“Ordinarily, no. But Viscount Theorad's case is exceptional. Even throughout history, there have been very few people without advanced training as a mage who could perfect such powerful magic.”
“I see. A grand explanation for the court's sudden interest in the Mage Tower. It seems I'm not the only one watching Theorad.”
The ministers would naturally see value in having a man like him on their side.
Perhaps they intended to attach their own conditions to the president's invitation: We approved it for you and obtained His Majesty's permission. Surely you should show us some gratitude.
What a foolish approach…
Theorad Deharem wasn't the sort of man Benelia believed could be won over by so obvious a favor. The ministers had identified someone useful, but may well have misunderstood him.
The thought drew a small smile from her.
A light breeze stirred her gray hair as she turned back to Roylen.
“Once a date and time have been settled, report to me. I'd like to see Theorad at the Mage Tower myself.”
“Your Highness…”
“You can do that much, can't you? You are loyal, after all.”
At the word loyal, Roylen felt his throat tighten. He placed a hand over his heart.
“I will obey Your Highness's orders without fail.”
Late that evening, after returning from the square, I found myself alone with the elf at the entrance to Deharem Manor.
I'd thought we'd managed to enjoy ourselves through the day, but her face was as unreadable as ever. I couldn't tell what was going on in her mind.
I wish the chamberlain were here…
He hadn't come to greet us. Apparently he was busy, and so here I was, facing the elf by myself again.
Her silence was so consistent that it made my insides squirm. At last I couldn't bear it.
“Did you enjoy yourself?”
Her red eyes lifted toward mine. She blinked slowly before answering in a quiet voice.
“A little.”
“That's good. Then, starting tomorrow…”
I deliberately let my sentence trail off. If she no longer wanted me to revile her, perhaps I could keep treating her as I had today.
But her answer was decisive.
“I know. Everything will go back to normal.”
There was something complicated in her voice.
Why did she keep wanting me to insult her? Why did we have to force ourselves through these exhausting roles?
Does she enjoy tormenting me?
I couldn't understand her. In the end I had little choice but to nod with a bitter smile.
“All right. It's late. Go inside and get some sleep.”
“You too, Master.”
She turned and made her way down the corridor. The red ribbon beside her hairband swayed softly in the dark.
I wanted to say something more, but she rounded the corner without looking back.
I stood there for a while, staring at the empty hall.
Then I put the thought aside and went to my room.
Tomorrow I'd have to play the “cold-blooded, psychopathic master” again.
It would be difficult, but what else could I do? So long as I couldn't send the elf away, it was something I would have to bear.
Back in her own room, the elf began to undress with practiced movements.
First came her apron. Then she loosened the ribbon at her collar, opened the buttons of her dress and slipped the garment down from her shoulders. Finally she removed her hairband, folded it and placed it on the old desk.
Moonlight from the window washed across her body. Still in her underwear, she took off the choker and sat at the desk.
She hesitated, then raised the little black band to eye level. A faint blue gleam caught in her red eyes.
A gift…
Perhaps it was the first real gift Theorad had given her. A dog bowl, a leash, a maid's uniform—those had all served his supposed purposes. This had been offered out of simple generosity.
Does Ashley receive things like this all the time?
Perhaps Theorad whispered loving things to Ashley whenever they met, and the two of them spent their time exchanging foolish jokes.
If that pleasant warmth was what Ashley called love, the elf could understand a little of it. The time she'd spent with Theorad today hadn't been unpleasant.
But was it absolute? Was its absence painful enough to kill? Was it something worth risking one's life for?
…No.
She could begin to understand love, but she still couldn't understand Ashley.
The elf looked down at the choker. She turned the cat's-paw ornament halfway, and a pulse of mana spread outward. A square window of light appeared.
She chose the newest recording, then selected a particular passage.
—“She's a woman I especially like and cherish.”
Theorad's voice came out clear and unmistakable.
She already knew what he'd said. Even so, hearing it again made her ears grow warm.
How could he speak that way so readily? How could he be kind to someone who had tormented him again and again?
Just like when he was little…
Theorad was still so foolishly kind. She couldn't understand why that still hadn't changed.
Are you deceiving me?
Or had he simply never revealed his true nature? Could her own memory be mistaken?
She could think about it endlessly without finding an answer. There was only one thing she could do: remain beside Theorad until she understood.
“After all, there was no deadline to the promise…”
She set the choker on the desk, climbed into bed and drew the blanket over herself.
But her mind wouldn't settle.
What if a gust of wind blew the choker out of the window while she slept? What if a crow or a cat saw the shiny metal ornament and carried it off?
It was small enough. Either seemed possible.
I'm worried…
She tossed and turned before finally opening her eyes and rising.
At the desk, she picked up the choker and fastened it around her neck again. The prickling fabric was uncomfortable, but she could endure it.
She returned to bed, then wondered why she was doing any of this.
She had no real need for the accessory. Surely losing something so trivial wouldn't matter?
…But it's mine.
He had given it to her. That meant it belonged to her now.
And that was the only reason she was wearing it, of course. It had nothing to do with Theorad…