A Small but Certain Happiness (4)

Was this what it felt like to turn to stone?

Ashley stared at the floating window, unable to move so much as a finger.

“S-Sir Theorad? This… this is…”

Her eyes flickered helplessly between him and the words on the screen. At last she snapped her notebook shut.

The embarrassing ID vanished, but it was much too late for that to help.

“Perhaps something is broken…”

Her cheeks were bright red. She was so flustered that I couldn't resist the urge to tease her a little.

I nodded solemnly.

“That must be it. I'm certain a lady like you wouldn't entertain such indecent thoughts, Ashley.”

“O-of course! I would never!”

She leaped at the chance to agree. It was like watching a child caught doing something she shouldn't, and I had to swallow a laugh.

I rubbed my chin thoughtfully.

“But you agree that the thought is indecent?”

“Huh? Wh-what?”

“Wanting to do something with me doesn't necessarily mean anything improper. You might want to drink tea or take a walk together. Naturally, I assumed you had nothing indecent in mind.”

Ashley lowered her eyes and clutched the book on her lap. I appeared to have won this little exchange.

I lifted my chin and spoke in the severe tone of a judge pronouncing a sentence.

“I expected you to deny it. I'm disappointed to discover that you were looking at me with such indecent thoughts.”

With a huff, I turned my head away.

Now she'll find the flaw in my argument.

Ashley was clever. There was no proof the notebook's ID truly reflected a user's innermost desire. Perhaps Dremes had arranged some absurd joke, or the ID had been chosen at random.

Once she pointed that out, I could graciously admit defeat. Her embarrassment would lessen, and the whole thing would become a harmless joke.

That was what I intended, at least.

But she said nothing.

One moment passed. Then another.

…Why isn't she answering?

I turned back.

Ashley was biting her lower lip, her eyes swimming with tears.

My stomach sank.

“I'm sorry… I'm sorry I disappointed you. I shouldn't have had such dirty thoughts…”

This isn't what I wanted!

Had my performance been so convincing that she genuinely believed I was angry?

Flustered, I caught her hand.

“Disappointed? I'm not disappointed at all. Please don't cry.”

“But you just said…”

“It was a joke. What sort of man would be upset just because a woman dear to him had thoughts like that?”

Her expression slowly brightened. Then her eyes narrowed.

“Then why would you make a joke like that?”

“I'm sorry. I didn't realize you'd take it so seriously…”

“That's no excuse. Sir Theorad, look me in the eyes.”

I obeyed. Her clear blue eyes were the color of polished lapis lazuli.

“I'll ask you only once. Are you truly sorry?”

“Of course. I swear by the God of Light.”

“Good. Then I'll have to punish you for it.”

Punish me?

Before I could ask what she meant, Ashley lightly touched the back of the hand that held hers.

“Don't let go of my hand until the carriage reaches our destination.”

Her voice was soft. She smiled at my bewilderment.

“That's your punishment.”

---

The horses neighed as the driver drew on the reins and the carriage came to a halt. Beynon and the Pelgaroin knights slowed their mounts as well.

Here, of all places…

An overcast sky hung over a clearing thick with weeds. In its center stood a small, old but well-maintained wooden cabin.

Beynon knew it well.

This place holds all those memories of the young master and the lady.

When Ashley had been little, she'd persuaded her father to have the cabin built so she and Theorad could play together.

Nearby stood the remains of a wooden table, weathered and rotting after years of exposure.

Wellion always liked coming here.

Theorad's father had often said the breeze and scenery made it a perfect place to think or talk. Beynon had shared a drink with him here more than once.

The memories stung his eyes. He rubbed the tip of his nose just as the coachman opened the carriage door.

“Viscount Theorad, Lady Ashley. We've arrived.”

“Thank you for your trouble.”

Theorad climbed out first. Ashley followed gracefully, holding a large handbag.

He raised his head and stopped short.

“This place…”

Ashley smiled.

“You remember it, don't you? We used to come here as children. Once we grew older, family affairs kept us too busy.”

“You're right. I had almost forgotten it. Now that I'm here, the memories are returning. It's wonderful to see it again.”

“…What else do you remember?”

She tried to keep her tone casual.

There was one particular memory she longed for him to mention. While they were playing house, the young Theorad had once plucked a dandelion, knelt before her and declared his love, promising to marry her.

Perhaps it was only a childish imitation of a proposal, but she had never forgotten it.

Does he remember too?

Her hand tightened around the bag handle. Her cheeks warmed as she waited.

Theorad smiled and pointed toward the clearing.

“I remember you running around here in tears because there was a bug on your back. You were screaming so loudly! You should have seen how ridiculous you looked—”

“Sir Theorad.”

Her voice had turned cold.

Theorad flinched and looked at her. Ashley was staring at him with an almost overpowering expression.

“That isn't funny at all.”

“Ah… yes.”

He agreed, though he couldn't see why she was upset.

Ashley sighed.

“Well, we can't expect to remember exactly the same things. Let's go inside the cabin. There's something I'd like to do with you.”

“What is it?”

“Come with me and you'll see.”

There was no reason to refuse. Theorad walked with her through the grass, listening to the insects and feeling the weeds brush his ankles.

He took hold of the cabin door and pushed.

Creeeak…

The rusty hinges complained, but the inside was far neater than he'd expected. No dust, no cobwebs, and even the windows were sparkling clean.

He turned toward Ashley.

“Did you have the place cleaned?”

“Of course.”

“You asked the servants?”

“No. It's a place filled with our memories. I couldn't leave it to anyone else. I came early yesterday and cleaned it myself.”

The cabin wasn't large, but cleaning it alone could hardly have been easy.

“You must have worked hard. You deserve praise for that.”

“Ehehe… It's nothing.”

Her shy smile made Theorad feel oddly warm. He cleared his throat and turned to look around before he forgot his dignity.

There were little wooden knives, chopping boards, bowls and teacups—the old utensils from their games of house.

Two especially charming dolls sat among them, both dressed as girls. When they'd been children, Theorad and Ashley had pretended that the dolls were their daughters.

How strange to see all this again.

As he examined one of the dolls, Ashley put her handbag on the table in the center of the room.

The soft thump drew his attention. She was undoing the lock on the leather case.

“Why did you want to bring me here today? Do you want to play house again?”

Her hand stopped.

Play house?

In a sense, perhaps he wasn't wrong. She had brought food she'd prepared herself.

Remembering the old games, Ashley covered her mouth and laughed.

“That isn't far off. We always began our games by eating, didn't we? I remember you pretending to enjoy the flowers and leaves I'd served you.”

“Then we'd have a wedding ceremony. The chief chamberlain used to act as the officiant.”

“That's right. And then we'd make a baby—”

Theorad stopped.

He'd meant that they made a doll to play the part of their baby. Unfortunately, that wasn't how the words had sounded.

Awkward silence filled the cabin.

Still holding one of the dolls, he tried to explain.

“I meant… if that's something you'd want to do with me…”

Absolutely not!

Ashley's face burned. She hadn't come here with anything so outrageous in mind.

Well… I've thought about it before, but never in a place like this!

“That's…”

She twisted her fingers, unable to find the right words.

“I couldn't possibly…!”

Tears gathered at the corners of her tightly closed eyes.

Why does everything have to go wrong today?