Even If Everyone Else Denies Me

Gray rain fell upon a darkened world.

The downpour swept across the palace gardens, the archery grounds, and the training yards. People hurried indoors to escape it. Beyond the windows, everything grew so still that one might imagine being the last person left in the world.

Not everyone was given to such thoughts.

Benelia von Esteban, the Empire's third princess and its minister of war, paid no attention to the steady patter against her window. Seated at her desk, she reviewed the outcome of the most recent council meeting.

The meeting went well.

Now that the departure date had been fixed, the ministers' debate had narrowed to the coming army's route and strategy.

“Your Majesty! Evil demons inhabit Grimund Forest. We should march by way of the Tantalan Mountains rather than risk losing men there.”

“The minister is correct. His Majesty has always taken the Tantalan Mountains into account when planning the Northern Expedition. Following the ridgeline should allow the army to advance without undue difficulty.”

“I agree, Your Majesty. A march along the ridge may expose us to enemy observation, but passing through the forest would be little short of suicide. The mountains are the better route for Your Majesty's safety and the soldiers' morale.”

The ministers spoke with solemn confidence, each predicting victory in the war despite the private calculations behind his words. Benelia waited until they had finished before presenting her own proposal.

“Your Majesty the Emperor. If you grant me the opportunity, I will take my soldiers through the forest myself and capture the Black Castle in the demons' domain. That victory will lay the foundation for the Empire's glorious Northern Expedition.”

The conversation around the table stopped.

Several ministers stared at her. They considered a march through Grimund Forest sheer folly.

The forest could not be crossed in a day or two. Demons inhabited it, and an army passing through would be vulnerable to ambush after ambush, forced to fight on unfavorable ground. Only a fool would recommend such a route.

Even the emperor seemed inclined to question the proposal. Benelia held herself straight and continued without flinching.

“Your Majesty, have you forgotten what I accomplished in the Orc Conquest War? I am your daughter, Benelia. I won victory after victory despite the odds against me. Please do not dismiss the undertaking as impossible. Give me one chance.”

A murmur spread through the council chamber.

A few speculated that the princess must have some secret strategy. Most judged that youthful ambition and an appetite for military glory had finally clouded her judgment.

They all remembered her confrontation with Count Leonberg in Pelgaroin over her pursuit of military achievement.

To ministers who regarded her as an obstacle, this proposal was an unexpected gift. One after another, they bowed toward the emperor and spoke in support of it.

“Forgive me, Your Majesty, but the princess's argument has merit. Her Highness may be young, yet she has proven herself an outstanding general and able strategist. Granting her a chance would not be unwise.”

“I agree. Even if the princess fails to take the Black Castle, her detachment may allow the main force to pass through the mountains more efficiently. I beg Your Majesty to consider it.”

From their perspective, Benelia was marching into a trap of her own making. If she forced her way through the forest and lost her troops, her influence in the imperial family would collapse. If she somehow survived and took the Black Castle, their larger plans would suffer little.

They had no idea they were helping her.

I'm glad they took the bait.

Had they suspected something and insisted she rejoin the main force, the plan would have become much harder to carry out.

But why should they suspect? Who would imagine an imperial princess working with Baal of the demon realm—or that she meant to overthrow the Empire itself?

For now, everything was proceeding as intended. The obstacles had been removed. She needed only to keep her plan moving.

And yet…

One thought had been troubling her lately. Benelia slumped in her chair, drummed her fingers against the desk, and sighed.

Proban. That old man had to go and say it…

His question—whether she thought of Theorad as a man she might love—refused to leave her alone. She had denied it, yet whenever her mind was free, the question returned.

There's no chance I see him that way.

She knew he was a good man. Having someone like him at her side would be no hardship. But affection of that kind was hardly proof of love.

Besides, he was engaged. His fiancée was the second daughter of Count Pelgaroin's family, who was looking after her own interests. If Benelia did discover romantic feelings too late, she would simply have to set them aside. Better to concentrate on the affairs of the Empire.

Tap. Tap.

A knocking sound interrupted her thoughts.

Benelia turned toward the window. A large crow was striking the glass with its beak. Why had the bird ventured out in such rain? More strangely still, it carried a crystal ball in its mouth.

Some sort of messenger?

Its intention was plain enough, though hammering on a window without warning was an odd way to announce a delivery. The crow showed no inclination to stop. Benelia picked up her wand and gave a light gesture. The window swung open.

The bird flapped inside, hovering directly before her.

“Caw!”

It dropped the crystal ball and flew straight back out into the rain.

Benelia watched it disappear, then examined what it had brought.

Not a communication crystal. It's smaller than the usual kind. Could it be disposable?

She turned it in her hands. Nothing about it suggested malicious intent, and curiosity won out.

She placed it upon the desk and fed it a little mana.

The crystal vibrated, then projected a moving image made of pale mana into the air.

Benelia caught her breath.

“You…”

The man in the image was Theorad Deharem. Assassins armed with crossbows surrounded him. This had to be the attack in which he had supposedly died.

“Admit your connection to Princess Benelia,” an unfamiliar voice demanded from the recording. “Tell us what you know.”

Benelia frowned at the threat that followed: cooperate, and his life might be spared.

Did he give them the information and escape?

Even if he did…

She would have understood. Theorad had been drawn unwillingly into a struggle for power, and giving up information to preserve his life would not have made him contemptible in her eyes.

But Theorad gave no such answer.

“You worms… You dare ask me to betray her?”

Benelia went still.

“Did you think threatening my life would make me tremble? Did you imagine I'd throw myself at your feet and beg for mercy? How disgusting…”

He would not yield, even with death in front of him.

“I am not so insignificant that I would beg the likes of you!”

Her eyes trembled. She had clenched one hand into a fist without realizing it.

“I am the head of the distinguished House Deharem, a viscount, and a deputy trusted by His Excellency Count Leonberg! Do you think I would kneel before scum like you?”

He held to that conviction until the end. Theorad refused to betray her or trade information for his survival.

The recording continued until a shot struck him in the chest and he fell.

Then the projected mana scattered in blue sparks. The images vanished. Benelia could not move. The sight of Theorad dying had struck her too deeply.

Was the recording altered?

No. A simple crystal ball of this kind was designed for a single use, and its recorded images could not be edited. Once played, the recording could never be shown again.

Whoever had made it must have deliberately chosen such a device to leave proof that the events shown were genuine.

Then how…?

How had Theorad survived? The question gnawed at her, but she forced it aside. Something else mattered more.

Theorad knew he died because of me.

He must have understood that his connection to the princess was what made him a target. Yet after awakening, he had not reproached her even once. The letter he sent her contained only gratitude.

Benelia felt wretched.

Why? Why didn't you tell me when you knew all along?

His unasked-for kindness hurt more than an accusation. Her decision to put off a proper apology until after she became emperor now felt like a terrible mistake. Benelia bit her lip until it hurt and sprang up.

“Oh, damn it…!”

Her heart pounded so hard it seemed ready to burst. She had never known an emotion quite like this.

“That damned… damned man…!”

She could not give a name to the feeling rising from somewhere deep inside her. One thing, however, was certain: she had to go to Theorad now and ask his forgiveness.

She snatched her coat from its hanger and strode toward the door.

In the corridor, a court eunuch waiting outside flinched at the sight of her pulling on the overcoat.

“Y-Your Highness. If you've finished your work—”

“Saddle my warhorse. There is someone I must see.”

The eunuch stared. Why would she ride anywhere in a storm like this?

For a moment he hesitated, overwhelmed by the command and by the expression on Benelia's face. In all his time serving her, he had never seen such a complicated look in her eyes.

“Yes, Your Highness! I'll saddle the horse at once!”

He hurried down the corridor.

Benelia watched him go, then slowly resumed walking, teeth clenched, still struggling to understand the unprecedented emotions boiling inside her.