Even If Everyone Else Denies Me (2)
Afterward, Ashley felt unpleasantly sticky with sweat, but she could not bring herself to suggest a bath. She had promised to keep Theorad in his room until the elf returned; now she needed to keep him occupied a little longer.
Instead, she asked whether he would like to talk. He saw no reason to refuse. They wiped themselves down, settled together on the bed, and began chatting.
They laughed over one subject after another until, without quite noticing how they had arrived there, they were discussing the Empire.
“War will begin soon,” Theorad said.
“Mercenaries are gathering from every direction, and the lords are sending their conscripts to the imperial capital. His Majesty seems determined to begin the campaign as quickly as possible.”
He looked toward the ceiling. His voice lacked its usual energy, and his damp eyes blinked slowly.
“Demons have long been known to torment humans and treat them as toys. Destroying them sounds like a heroic cause. On the surface, His Majesty's northern expedition may have an impeccable justification. But…”
“It ignores the consequences of another reckless northern expansion, both inside the Empire and beyond it,” Ashley said. “Calling it foolish would be too mild. At this point, it's madness.”
“Ashley. Speaking of His Majesty that way…”
“I'm telling the truth. Anyone who thinks for a moment can see that the current emperor is being led around by his palace ministers. But if you want me to stop, Sir Theorad, I will.”
Theorad almost laughed. She had already spoken her mind; what good was a promise to be careful afterward?
“You don't need to stop. I wouldn't dismiss your opinion. In fact, I agree with some of what you've said.”
“…Which part?”
“The consequences at home and abroad. Hasn't the Empire been through too many wars in too little time?”
Twenty-three years earlier, witches driven beyond endurance by the Church's persecution had risen in civil war. Ordinary people had suffered in the fighting.
Eight years earlier came the great war against the orcs, ostensibly to drive away those who threatened imperial civilians and challenged the imperial family's authority. Thousands of civilians had been conscripted and died against their will.
The wounds left by those wars had never fully healed. Even great cities and the County of Pelgaroin experienced recurring strife. In remote regions, people faced hunger, thirst, predatory officials, and ever heavier taxes imposed under the pretext of rebellion.
Yet the emperor looked outward instead of tending to his own people. He disregarded their complaints and listened to the ministers beside him.
“To start another war while the people are suffering… The Empire will tear itself apart. If I had the opportunity, perhaps I could enter public life and speak to His Majesty—”
“No!”
Ashley's shout startled him into silence. When he turned to her, she looked almost as surprised as he did.
After an uncomfortable moment, he asked, “Why not?”
“Ah… well…”
Her gaze darted away.
Theorad was principled, honest, and modest in his personal conduct. If he entered politics, others would inevitably gather around him. In time, he might become a rising political figure who carried his convictions to the imperial court and tried to show the emperor a better path.
That was precisely what frightened her.
The ministers had spent years keeping the emperor from seeing clearly. Would they stand by while an upstart noble attempted to open his eyes? They would do whatever they could to remove Theorad.
Ashley could not bear to imagine him trapped in such a struggle of intrigue and bloodshed.
“…I don't want to see you suffer, Sir Theorad. Please. Stay away from politics.”
He seemed to understand something of the fear beneath her request. Smiling, he gently stroked her blond hair.
“If that's what you wish, I won't pursue it. It was only a passing thought, not something I'd seriously decided. Don't worry.”
“Thank you, Theorad…”
Ashley smiled shyly and nestled against him, breathing in the faint scent of soap from his skin.
Then she noticed a crow flying toward the window through the pouring rain. It landed on the sill and tapped the glass with its beak.
Ah…
She recognized it at last. The elf had sent a familiar. It must mean she had returned from the operation against the Black Dogs.
Ashley gave a slight nod. The crow turned and flew away again.
She cleared her throat and sat upright.
“I think I'll go wash now.”
“Of course. We've been talking much longer than I realized. I suppose this is what people mean when they say time flies.”
“I suppose it is…”
He made her laugh. Belatedly embarrassed, she stood and dressed in a hurry.
“Ahem. I'll be going, then.”
She left and shut the door behind her. Theorad chuckled at her flustered departure.
The door opened again almost immediately. He expected Ashley, but Roylen stood there instead.
Theorad was still reclining on the bed, only partly dressed. Roylen stopped short at the sight.
“…”
“…”
The silence was unbearable. Theorad sat up hurriedly and drew the blanket over himself.
“…What is it?”
“Ah. I didn't know you'd only just finished… I won't tell anyone, so don't worry.”
“Could you please tell me why you're here first?”
Roylen remembered the urgent message and straightened awkwardly.
“Her Highness Princess Benelia is on her way.”
“…What? In this rain?”
“Yes. She ordered that only Viscount Theorad be informed, so I came directly to your room. Forgive the intrusion.”
Theorad could not understand why the princess would travel through such weather, but he had no intention of keeping her waiting.
“Understood. I'll get ready and meet her at once.”
After bathing and changing into fresh clothes, Theorad waited at the villa entrance with an umbrella. He stood beneath the eaves, peering anxiously into the downpour.
Hissss—
The rain came down in sheets. Why would anyone ride here in weather like this?
Through the curtain of water he saw a woman approaching swiftly on a white horse.
It was Benelia, just as Roylen had said. Her handling of the reins was assured, though the urgency of her pace was disturbing. Theorad feared the horse might stumble on the soaked ground.
The princess rode through the villa gates without slowing. A moment later she pulled sharply on the reins beside the entrance.
Neigh—!
The white horse reared, but Benelia kept her seat without difficulty. Once the animal settled, she slid from the saddle with practiced ease.
She approached the steps and looked up at Theorad. He could only stare back, bewildered.
“Your Highness, how could you travel in such weather…?”
She looked nothing like herself. Black hair hung wet against her face; her fine military uniform was soaked through, rain running from every fold. Even her normally resolute golden eyes were clouded and uncertain.
She opened her mouth as though to speak, then suddenly bent her knees and knelt in the muddy water.
A princess of the Empire, a commander celebrated as the Iron-Blooded Princess, was bowing before a mere nobleman.
“Your Highness!”
Theorad hurried down the steps and held his umbrella over her.
“What are you doing? Please get up!”
For a while Benelia said nothing. Her breath trembled as she searched for words.
“…I saw it. I saw how you were attacked. You refused to betray me even when the assassins threatened you. I watched everything, right up to the moment they killed you.”
“Your Highness…”
“Watching it made me ashamed of myself. I had left this villa without asking your forgiveness because I was afraid to face you. That's why I'm here.”
The rain drummed harder against the umbrella.
“Please. Forgive me.”
Theorad was too stunned to understand what she meant. He sank to one knee in front of her.
“Your Highness, did you send those assassins after me?”
“…No.”
“Did you know the attack was coming and deliberately turn away?”
“No. Nothing like that.”
“Then why blame yourself and ask me to forgive you? You've done nothing wrong. You needn't apologize.”
His unguarded kindness only deepened her misery. Benelia could not accept his absolution so easily.
“Isn't it true that you suffered because of me?”
He thought for a moment. Then he released the umbrella.
A gust swept it away, and rain fell freely upon him. Benelia looked up, at a loss.
“What are you—why would you suddenly…?”
“Now you're looking at me.”
Theorad smiled faintly. Standing with her in the rain, he spoke with quiet sincerity.
“Your Highness, listen to me. It isn't right to demand forgiveness for something you haven't done.”
Benelia remained silent.
“But you will have done something wrong if you let one of those who serve you collapse in this rain. Before that happens, would you please come inside with me?”
“…Isn't that rather far-fetched?”
“Forgive me, but Your Highness was the one who resorted to forcing the issue first.”
The playful reproach made Benelia laugh despite herself.
Theorad offered his hand.
“It's cold out here. Please come in.”
His voice sounded gentle even beneath the roar of rain.
“Theorad Deharem…”
Benelia let out a long breath. The guilt she had carried seemed to loosen, like a sandcastle washed away by the tide. She felt strangely foolish, but she could not bring herself to dislike it.
“You really are unlike anyone else.”
A faint smile touched her lips. At last, she accepted his hand.