For You, for Me (5)

Leaves fell from the trees lining the roads, and the grass in the courtyards lost its color. Autumn had settled over the land in earnest, quietly warning that winter was coming.

As the air grew colder, the people of the territory put on fur-lined clothes, carried their laundry inside, and shut their doors against the wind.

Deharem Mansion was no exception. Yet one window remained open: the window of the attic room Linea had left behind.

Theorad had given orders that no one was to touch the room. If everything remained as she had left it, he believed, perhaps Linea would come home one day.

One day passed. Then two. Then a week.

A month went by, and she still had not returned.

---

“…The branches are growing thinner by the day.”

Havid watched the trees in the mansion's front courtyard and sighed. Concern filled his wrinkled eyes.

Are you eating properly, Linea?

She had been a troublesome maid: prone to mishaps, reluctant to work, quick to argue, and entirely willing to talk back to an old man.

But Havid had never been able to dislike her. Beneath her bold manner and fierce words, there was a gentle heart that had been hurt far too often.

He remembered how happy she had looked when she returned from the rear garden and finally told them her name. He had hoped that meant she was ready to open her heart to the people around her.

Instead, she had vanished on the day of Theorad and Ashley's wedding.

“You needn't have stayed if you truly couldn't bear it,” he murmured. “But if only you'd told us why you were leaving…”

There was no point complaining to the wind. Havid shook his head and started to turn away.

Then carriage wheels rattled toward the mansion.

The carriage rolled into the front courtyard and stopped. Once the horses were still, the coachman climbed down and opened the door.

Havid recognized Ashley, who had left early that morning, and hurried over.

She stepped down gracefully in a dress and a thick cape, looking every inch the lady of the house.

“Welcome home, madam.”

Havid bowed. Ashley looked a little troubled by the formality.

“Havid, you really don't have to call me madam. Or bow so deeply every time. There's no one here to impress.”

He raised his head with a kindly smile.

“Thank you for your consideration, but I do it because I wish to. Please don't concern yourself. More to the point, did the meeting with the Vahimt Foundation go well?”

“Yes. They've agreed to support the poor in Baron Brenu's territory. A Pelgaroin vassal family runs the foundation, and I've reviewed its accounts, so I'm satisfied the funds will be used as intended.”

“Then the recipients have all been chosen. The head of the house will be pleased.”

“I hope so. Is my husband in his office?”

“No. He finished his work and went out for a walk.”

A walk.

Havid didn't need to say where. Ashley knew.

The wind was strong today. Spending hours outside in such weather could make him ill. With a sigh, she drew her cape closer.

“He's gone to the garden behind the mansion again, hasn't he? Even after I warned him how cold it was.”

“Forgive us. We've tried to persuade him as well, but he's very stubborn.”

“He's a man who usually listens to reason. Don't worry. I'll bring him back.”

Havid could only look apologetic. These days, Ashley was perhaps the one person who could persuade Theorad to leave the garden.

“Then allow me to escort you to the entrance.”

She knew the way perfectly well, but she wouldn't refuse the old steward's kindness.

“Please do.”

---

Ashley followed the path behind the mansion and soon found Theorad.

The daisies that had once filled the garden with white blossoms were withered now. In the center, he stood on the scorched patch of earth, staring into the distance. From behind, his figure seemed terribly lonely.

She approached, unable to bear the sight. He didn't stir.

He hadn't deliberately ignored her footsteps. He was simply so lost in thought that the world around him seemed to have fallen away.

“Theorad?”

Still no response.

She had come all the way here because she was worried about him. A little indignation stirred alongside the worry. After a brief silence, she went up behind him, wound her arms tightly around his waist, and pressed herself against his back.

His shoulders jerked. Life returned to his distant eyes.

“…Ashley?”

He tried turning his head, but couldn't see her standing behind him.

“Wrong,” she declared playfully.

“Hmm? I'm fairly sure it isn't.”

“…You forgot the rest.”

The rest?

Theorad's lips curved in a faint smile. She was teasing him, as only she could.

“Then let me try again. Is this my beloved wife, Ashley?”

“Ah. Well…”

That was precisely what she'd wanted him to say. Hearing it aloud left her flustered all the same. She had begun to grow accustomed to being married, but her heart still refused to settle when he spoke to her like that.

“…Correct.”

Ashley released him. Theorad turned and saw the blush coloring her cheeks.

Her lapis-blue eyes and shining golden hair were as lovely as ever. But admiring her wasn't the most urgent thing on his mind.

“Why did you come out here in this cold? What if you catch a chill?”

“I should be asking you that. Is there some rule that only women can catch colds?”

There was no answer to that. Theorad gave in.

“Very well. I've been out long enough. Let's go inside.”

He took her hand and started toward the mansion at an easy pace.

Ashley studied his face as they walked. He wore his usual gentle expression, but he'd grown thin. It was easy to imagine how he suffered during the hours he spent alone.

She wished she could remain beside him all day. But duties kept pulling them apart, even during their first month as husband and wife.

Pity wouldn't help him. She kept her voice light as she changed the subject.

“Theorad, the donation arrangements are finally complete. Five foundations will be entrusted with distributing the money.”

“Five? Thank you. You've worked so hard on my behalf. Did they give you any trouble?”

“Nothing serious. But I did hear something remarkable.”

“Oh?”

“Some of the foundations have ties to organizations in the Holy See. The people I met said the saintess has announced that she'll soon reveal the pope's misdeeds to the public. Her Majesty the Emperor has also expressed support for her.”

If the saintess truly intended to expose the pope, it could shake the religious and political order throughout the empire.

Theorad merely nodded.

“That's a brave decision. If the Holy Father really has committed crimes, he should face the proper punishment.”

His words were sensible, but weary. His dull gaze suggested that he scarcely cared what happened beyond his own sorrow.

Ashley couldn't stand to see him like this. She decided it was time to give the foolish man she loved a push.

“…Linea isn't coming back.”

Theorad stopped. Ashley halted too and turned toward him.

“You know it yourself. She's never been away for an entire month before.”

“Ashley…”

“You have to face that. Otherwise you'll never be able to take another step forward.”

Her eyes held his steadily.

“Theorad, Linea is a coward. She thinks everyone will be happy if she runs away before anyone has the chance to hurt her.”

Ashley couldn't approve of Linea's decision, but she could understand it. Theorad had told her something of the elf's past.

Betrayal after betrayal, hatred, and good intentions met with cruelty had left wounds that would not readily heal. Those memories had driven Linea to the edge.

Happiness isn't something I can have. That was how Ashley imagined Linea thinking. Even Theorad will come to hate me someday.

Ashley hated the thought. In trying to protect herself from pain, Linea had hurt everyone again, even after being forgiven for what she'd done.

“So…”

If Ashley asked Theorad to forget Linea, she could have his love to herself. The temptation was real. But she knew it would be wrong.

She didn't want him to suffer anymore. And she didn't want to abandon that foolish elf to her own terrible choice.

“Go and get Linea,” she said. “Bring that coward back.”

The warmth in her voice made his chest tighten. Yet as the head of an old noble house, he could not dismiss the obligations of his position.

“…I can't. How could I leave my wife behind to travel after a slave?”

“Theorad, Linea isn't a slave. I don't know the exact details, but she seems to be the Grand Master of the Great Forest. It sounds like a very high position.”

“Even so, people will think I'm having an affair.”

“Then make sure it isn't an affair. As far as I know, there's no law in the empire requiring a man to have only one wife.”

Theorad stared at her, stunned into silence.

Ashley continued calmly, as though she had already considered this many times.

“If you marry the Grand Master, it won't disgrace the family. I'll talk to Father and persuade him, so you needn't worry about that.”

“Ashley… Are you truly all right with this?”

“No, I'm not all right. Of course I'll be jealous. I may even demand that you love me more than you love Linea. But…”

She gave him a small, awkward smile.

“I believe our future can be happier than the present.”

Theorad stared at her. His breath drifted white into the autumn air.

How did the gods bless me with such a wise, wonderful wife?

Emotion overcame him. He drew Ashley into a tight embrace.

“Thank you. Truly…”

His arms trembled around her. Ashley felt it and closed her eyes.

Theorad…

He must have been so miserable, torn between his desire to find Linea and the belief that he couldn't ask such a thing of his new wife. Perhaps he'd been afraid even to speak it aloud.

She understood his pain. With a soft sigh, she rested her face against his chest.

“If you're that grateful, then love me even more than you do now. And…”

His embrace was so warm she hardly felt the cold. She wrapped her arms around him in return and whispered:

“…Don't get hurt. Bring Linea home safe and sound.”

The tenderness of her words eased his aching heart. Theorad nodded and made a promise close to her ear.

Before winter came, he would bring Linea back to the mansion.